Berlin Kreuzberg

Club der Visionaere, Am Flutgraben 1 (www.clubdervisionaere.com), Though this river-front cabana/bar/club/boat is packed, the experience is worth the sweaty armpits. A mini-indoor club has a DJ spinning, but the fun is outside with rum-based drinks, feet dipped in the river, and large pizzas (€8). This club is like a mix of the Bayou, New York, and Cancun. One of the best experiences you will have anywhere. So relaxing, so engaging, so Berlin. U1: Schlesisches Tor. From the U-bahn head southeast on Schleissichestr. Admission €4-15. Open daily 10pm-late. Does not take credit cards. No wheelchair access. Serves alcohol. Has outdoor seating.
Watergate, Falckensteinstr. 49 (www.water-gate.de), This ultra-exclusive club lights up the river with an eye-popping display of lights, but from the street, not even a sign marks its entrance. You'll have to rely on the enormous line of partiers who've come for a club that lives up to its reputation. Tired guests can “chill out” on the floating dock, while raging rhinos can tear up one of two dance floors. The place won't get packed until 2am—but then it roars until the sun shushes it down. Groups of more than two should pretend like they're separate, and couples should pretend like they're single—seriously. U1: Schlesisches Tor. Head toward the bridge. It's the unmarked door at the top of those stairs immediately before the river. Cover €8-20. Mixed drinks €6.50. Open W 11-late. F and Sa midnight-late. Does not take credit cards. No wheelchair access. Serves alcohol. Has outdoor seating.
Luzia, Oranienstr. 34 (www.luzia.tc), An artsy cafe and bar full of slightly older chums. The patio is most popular in the summer. Try inside for a little privacy, say, inside this place's person-sized doll-house, or in one of the lofts that you climb a ladder to get to. U1, U8: Kotbusser Tor. From the U-bahn head northeast up AldabertStraße and turn left on Oranienstr. Beer €3-6. Mixed drinks €6-8. Open daily noon-late. Does not take credit cards. No wheelchair access. Serves alcohol. Has outdoor seating.
Farbfernseher, Skalitzer Str. 114 During the day, you wouldn't think twice about this abandoned office building, but when the sun goes down, this ultra-chill, miniature night club goes up. The whole place has a more relaxed feel than nearly most in Berlin, and its small size means the parties feel both active and intimate without ever being overpowering. Young locals sway to DJs, smoke out front, or talk in the back with friends. They're trying to keep it super-local here, so avoid wearing your fanny pack. U1, U8 to Kotbusser Tor. From the U-bahn head east down Skalitzer Str. Cover €1 (or free with drink purchase). Open Sept to mid-July W-Su 10pm-late. Does not take credit cards. No wheelchair access. Serves alcohol.
Club Tresor, Köpenicker Str. 70 (www.tresorberlin.com), Tresor has an act that starts at 7am. Starts. At. 7am. Multiple DJs spin nightly in this enormous converted warehouse that now houses Berlin's first official Techno Club. The downstairs houses a store, mini-cafe, and men's and women's bathrooms that are literally just cubbies in one long wall. A huge outdoor garden makes space for breaks, while inside, projectors shoot images on every wall, an advanced lighting system disorients and intoxicates, and a killer sound system makes aural magic. U8: Heinrich Heinestr. Admission €8-15. Usually open W, F, Sa 10pm-late. Does not take credit cards. Wheelchair access. Serves alcohol. Has outdoor seating.
Magnet Club, Falckensteinstr. 48 (www.magnet-club.de), This club's guests break down into two groups: cool locals who come for the DJs and frequent live bands, and angry tourists who got rejected from Watergate Club next door. Bands play on a short, shallow stage that makes them seem like they're dancing in the crowd. An additional dance floor with separately spinning DJ, and an outdoor chillspace that feels like a converted construction sight, allow guests choose their own experience. U1: Schlesisches Tor. Head toward the bridge. An “M” hangs above the door. Admission €5-10. Usually open Tu-Su from 8pm. Check online for exact schedule. Serves alcohol. Has outdoor seating.
Heinz Minki, Vor dem Schlesischen Tor 3 (www.heinzminki.de), A beautiful garden large enough for your group to have some privacy even in a very full, very public place. Lanterns and outdoor music make nights here feel like a drawn-out Fitzgerald novel, without the deep-seated ambiguities and obligatory death. Various booths around the garden serve pizza (€3), bratwurst (€2.50) and other snacks (€1-7). Stealthier guests can steal a bite from the fruit trees spread throughout the garden. U1: Schlesisches Tor. Beer €2-5. Mixed drinks €5-9. Open daily 10pm-late. Does not take credit cards. Wheelchair access. Serves alcohol. Has outdoor seating.
Arena Club, Eichenstr. 4 (www.arena-club.de), This awesome indoor/outdoor complex has a swimming pool in the river during the summer, a faux beach that sells drinks, and dance floors ranging from epic to legendary. A ticket into one of the clubs gets you access to the pool-and-beach bar. U1: Schlesisches Tor. From the U-bahn head south on Schlesischestr. across both canal bridges. The Arena complex is the large industrial set of buildings on your left after the 2nd bridge. Vary. Party hours vary but usually Th-Su from 10pm. Does not take credit cards. No wheelchair access. Serves alcohol. Has outdoor seating.
SO36, Oranienstr. 190 (www.so36.de), SO36 sees itself less as a club, though it's a great club, and more as an organization with an attitude. The various parties, live bands, and cultural presentations that go on here attract a mixed gay/straight clientele whose common demoninator is that they like to party hardy. Gayhane, a gay cabaret that performs the last Saturday of every month, has become a staple of the Berlin gay scene, and can get pretty epic. Remember how Cabaret takes place in Berlin? Well, this lives up to that reputation. U1, U8: Kottbusser Tor. Vary. Opening times vary, but usually open F-Sa 10pm-late. Does not take credit cards. No wheelchair access. Serves alcohol. GLBT
Roses, Oranienstr. 187 Mostly gay men and a few lesbians hang out in this little bar that has fuzzy pink walls and a fuzzy pink ceiling. The bar's small size keeps the energy level high, and the endless assortment of wall trinkets (glowing mounted antlers, glowing hearts) will keep you curious. U1, U8: Kottbusser Tor. Beer €3. Mixed drinks €4-6. Open daily 9pm-late. Does not take credit cards. No wheelchair access. Serves alcohol. GLBT
Festaal Kreuzberg, Skalitzerstr. 130 (www.festsaal-kreuzberg.de), Live bands play regularly in this punkish old-school former movie theater. The type of place that feels perfectly worn-in but not yet old or dirty. After the concerts, local partygoers spill into the courtyard for more drinks, smokes, and some good ol' post-production chatting. Some nights feature poetry readings, screenings, or art performances. U1, U8: Kotbusser Tor. From the U-bahn, head east on Stalitzerstr. Tickets €5-20. Hours vary. Usually open F-Sa from 9pm. Check website for details. Does not take credit cards. Wheelchair access. Serves alcohol. Has outdoor seating.
Bierhimmel, Oranienstr. 183 A relaxing gay-friendly cafe that draws a good mix of gays, lesbians, and straight people. Many have a drink or two here before heading out to more wild adventures like Roses and SO36 next door. The barstaff requests that only nice people who understand tipping stop by. U1, U6: Kotbusser Tor. Mixed drinks €4-6. Coffee €1-4. Open daily 1pm-late. Does not take credit cards. Wheelchair access. Serves alcohol. Has outdoor seating. GLBT
Club Monarch, Skalitzerstr. 134 Few clubs fit the word “fun” as well as Club Monarch. A great mixture of old and young, gay and straight, creepers and guys you'll hook up with fill out this small bar above Kaiser's supermarket. A large window gives you a nice view of the U-Bahn and solid DJs keep the party pumping. Smaller crowds are made of regulars and a few foreigners. Parties won't shake out your molars, but they might loosen your bicuspids. U1, U8: Kotbusser Tor. Go through the door into the staircase next to Kaiser's. Cover €1. Mixed drinks €4-7. Open Tu-Sa 10pm-late. Does not take credit cards. No wheelchair access. Serves alcohol.
Kleine Reise, Spreewaldpl. 8 This little underground club, which looks like a bombed-out middle school locker room, spins from the basement of a hostel. Not a place to rage your ass off, but a fantastically hip hangout where you can meet future friends, chat with current friends, or get “friendly” in one of the natural dark spaces in this crumbling basement. The €2 Jager shots are nice, and the robots marching on the window sill are special, indeed. U1: Görlitzer Bahnhof. Admission €3. Open Th-Sa from 10pm. Does not take credit cards. No wheelchair access. Serves alcohol.