Germany Customs And Etiquette

Although Germans may seem reserved or even unfriendly, they are not as standoffish as they may first appear. Germans are very frank and will not hesitate to show disapproval. To the uninitiated this may come across as confrontational, but it stems mostly from honesty. Many Germans consider effusive chumminess insincere, and Americans are often perceived as disingenuous for being overly friendly.

The complex rules of German etiquette may seem excessive; however, most apply only with older Germans and in rural areas. Even so, travelers should bear a few things in mind. In general, Germans are more formal than Americans, and punctuality is a huge deal. An invitation to a German home is a major courtesy—bring a gift for the hostess. Among the older generations, be careful not to use the informal du (you) or a first name without being invited to do so. Du is appropriate when addressing fellow students and friends, or with children. In all other circumstances, use the formal Sie for “you,” as in the question Sprechen Sie Englisch? (Do you speak English)?

Addressing a woman as Fräulein is inappropriate in most instances; address all women as Frau (followed by a surname). While the average German will generally speak English, Germans will be more receptive to a traveler who knows at least a little German; learn some before you go (see the Appendix , for help). In any case, remember at least two phrases: bitte (both please and you’re welcome; BIT-tuh) and danke (thank you; DAHNK-uh).

The first time you see a German standing at an intersection in the rain, no cars in sight, waiting for the “walk” signal, you’ll see what a law-abiding nation Germany is. Jaywalking is only one of several petty offenses that will mark you as a foreigner (and subject you to fines); littering is another. Many tourists also do not realize that the bike lanes marked in red between the sidewalk and the road are strictly off-limits for pedestrians. The drinking age is 16 for beer and wine and 18 for hard liquor, and it is not uncommon to see young teenagers in a store picking up a bottle of wine for the family dinner. Driving under the influence, however, is a severe offense. Drug use has yet to become publicly acceptable, even where penalties are more relaxed (see Essentials, ).