Dangers of Peeing in the Dark

I pee a lot. I keep hydrated during the day, what with all the walking I'm doing, and burn through two or three fill-ups of your average plastic water bottle, plus the glasses of water at cafes, plus coffees, plus the occasional soda, all within your typical 9am-5pm day. 

Then at night, a few beers—they really shoot through your system. 

What I'm trying to get at is this: I've seen a lot of bathrooms on this trip. And there's one thing in particular that has stood out to me. Several times when I go to use the restroom I'll walk in and find it dark. My normal move then is to feel around on the walls for the light switch. In the UK, this has proved to be a consistent problem. I'll scratch around in the dark like an idiot for a while, get frustrated, and open the door again to let in some light, thinking I'll see it in the one place I missed. That's when I see that the light switch is on the wall...outside the door.

This bothers me for two reasons: the first, obviously, is that I have to roam around like I'm looking for the Lost City of El Dorado for the light switch when it's sitting there hiding OUTSIDE the bathroom door; the second is far more frightening, however. 

What if somebody comes and turns off the light while I'm in the bathroom?

I know it may not rank as high in terms of complete, abject terror as say, Jack Nicholson in The Shining, but peeing in the dark also isn't high on my list of pleasurable experiences. Who wants to use the restroom in the dark? Then question of what you should do arises. Do you keep going? And then feel around for the toilet handle when your done (if feeling around for the lightswitch was bad enough, I'm not sticking my hands anywhere near a barroom toilet if I can't see). Do you try and stop? Well, no, then I'd have to zip up my zipper, wash my hands, use that stupid dryer thing that never really gets your hands dry, finish drying my hands on my jeans, open the door, turn the light switch BACK ON and finally repeat the whole process.

People just shouldn't have to pee in the dark. 

I mentioned this fear to a friend of mine who responded, "Oh yeah, I used to do that to my brother all the time. He hated it." 

Ladies and Gentlemen, there are sick, twisted people in this world. 

Imagine, playing a trick on someone, turning out the light, and when they're in the bathroom of all places. And it's those oddly placed UK "outdoor" light switches that are the cause of all of it.

I guess that's why the UK phrase for "joking with someone" is literally "taking the piss."