The Battle of the Littles

If you want to see NYC’s cultural districts, but don't know which to choose, I’m here to cut your work in half: It’s the Battle of the Littles, which district will take the prize? Let’s go find out.

Our first competitor is Little India, located in Jackson Heights, Queens. Little India isn’t the flashiest Little in NYC, but it’s certainly the most authentic. In my mind I pictured a drag-show Inda—all dolled up to look real but having all the wrong parts when you look under all the glitz. I pictured a block or two of Queens made over to look like an Indian market, but boy was I wrong. At first glance, I couldn’t even tell I was anywhere special, but then as I looked closer, the stores and shops and eateries were all authentically Indian. From $200 golden Saris to $10 ceramic deities to $1 Indian sweets, this is the place for real cultural immersion. Little India goes to show that, sometimes, the less spectacular a place looks, the more authentic that place is.

Next up in our competition is Chinatown (or Little China for consistency’s sake)! Chinatown is flashy, but is its flash really just trash? In short, yes. But that’s admittedly far too simplified. Chinatown is for any tourist who wants to come and experience, well, Chinatown (as many for some reason do), but as far as it being authentic…let’s just say that it’s as authentic as my grandmother’s hair color. However, if you’re looking for some cheap thrills, some flashy lights, and some lettering that you may or may not be able to read, then Chinatown is dressed to impress, ready for you.

Please welcome our next competitor: Little Russia. Wait, Little Russia is all the way out in Coney Island? DISQUALIFIED!

Give a warm welcome to our final competitor, Little Italy! Let’s be honest, the real Little Italy isn’t anywhere on the island, despite what French and Hispanic restaurant owners might want you to believe. If you really want Little Italy, head to the Jersey Shore. But while we’re here, let’s pay homage to the two square block “cultural” district that is Little Italy. Completely engrossed on every side by Chinatown, Little Italy is sort of inherently flashy, which is nice compared to Little India’s drabness. Also, because Italian cuisine has been so integrated into general Americana, “authenticity” is pretty easy to come by for “Italian” food. This district is so unauthentically “authentic” that it will make you question whether the “Vive La Crepe” restaurant right in the heart of the district is Italian or French—and where the heck is “Vive” from? Of course, it’s French, but isn’t that what we all love about Little Italy? Therefore, Little Italy comes out as our victor, simply because of its blatant sabotage of its own cultural heritage.