How To Throw Your Own Circumcision Party

"Will they do it now?" "Of course not! That was ten days ago. How is he's supposed to dance right after they cut that thing off?"

And that's how my first circumcision party started off. Those of you wondering what happens in these traditional celebrations, wonder no more. Here's how a typical circumcision party—sunet—goes down:

The women are in floor-length dresses and smart suits. The men's attire, a bit sloppier, ranges from the full suit to jeans and a nice shirt (my attire that night). Enter the musicians: middle-aged men, perhaps the remnants of some failed Turkish boy band, open the ceremony with loud and traditional music. The child parades in with his parents, and everyone claps. The staff then wheels out a huge cake, which the three of them cut together. Each gets a tiny bite, a sip of juice, and the cake is carted off (later to be served to the guest). Now the fun part begins.

A seemingly never-ending line forms as relatives, friends, and guests present their gifts to the parents and the boy, all of whom must kiss and shake hands in gratitude. Depending on how popular the parents are, this could take an hour. Afterwards, it's time to hit the dance floor. Ladies will rush to show off their moves (even more impressive with heels on) while men linger at the sides and eventually join in. At some point, everyone joins hands; the music gets faster and faster; and the challenge is to make your moves more inventive, while staying in the same circle. Eventually, the men will drop out, and it's back to the women. The night ends with everyone sweaty, exhausted, and a gift or two poorer (or much richer, if you happen to be the lucky lad).

Sounds exhausting? Definitely. Fun? It sure was. I'm just glad they weren't throwing the party for me.