The Land of Milk and Alcohol: A Let's Go Guide to Israeli Beer

This blog post was always going to happen. Drink an ice cold brew under that scalding Mediterranean sun and you might as well be sipping manna from Yahweh's own teat. It's the easiest pairing since Sonny and Cher. Sure, you're going to find your good old go-to Carlsberg, bog-standard Heinekens, and particularly prevalent Tuborgs here, but this ain't the only non-Islamic country in the Middle East for no reason... okay, beer is probably not that reason, but it's safe to say Israel does deliver with domestic suds. I've been biding my time, waiting for the right time to do this blog. Having diligently scoured every shiny bar and dingy watering hole across the most boozed-up patch of land in the Middle East--I know, I know, I live a tough life, but I gotta keep those babymamas fed--the results are finally in. So, I present to you Let's Go's Guide to Israeli beer:

Goldstar - this is the big kahuna, the mother of all Israeli brews.  Default for soldiers, kibbutzniks, casual sippers, and down-in-one-ers across the nation. It's a beer made for scorching days--especially when Corona is oddly absent from most joints in the country. Yet instead of battling the heat with the same light, fruity flavor of its Mexican bedfellow, Goldstar is a full-bodied lager, meanings it's strangely heavier than you might expect for the weather. Instead it gets its chill-you-out edge from a distinctive, sweet but never cloying tang.

American equivalent: Sam Adams. A beer tailored for the country it comes from, a beer of the people. One for the patriots (and the sweet tooths).

Maccabee - while it might be named after a bunch of really old dudes, Maccabee drinkers are anything but. As the cheapest beer on the market, you're more likely to find it killing the braincells of students and impecunious travel writers than whetting the well-heeled and cooler-than-thou. But it's not just a shitty PBR-equivalent without the hipster caché--Maccabee might lack a little flavor, but is a much lighter lager than Goldstar for those so inclined and still has that trademark Israeli sweet kick at the backend.

American equivalent: Natty Ice. A beer light and cheap enough to be chugged. Not that I would know, bro.

Alexander - a mid-sized microbrewery working just outside of Khadera pumps out several boutique ales for the discerning swagger. Ales in particular are fairly sparse in Israel given the heat, but Alexander is certainly starting to gain a hold over the small market there is for it here. The Blond is a golden yellow affair that is lighter than your typical ale, while the Black is about as creamy and full-bodied a sud that you're likely to find in Israel.

American equivalent: Miller High Life. Yeah, yeah, High Life sucks, but we're going on the tagline here. For Alexander, the moniker "champagne of beers" is hardly ironic.

Taybeh - not strictly an Israeli beer, but Taybeh is the only Palestinian brew in existence. Based in the West Bank, Taybeh Brewery--and the Khoury family, who owns it--has been pumping out a slightly sweet, rich, and delectable brew for the last twenty years, through intifadas and occupations alike. Indeed, it's doing so well that it's now exported all across Europe. A must try for any who want a bit of a story to their drink.

American equivalent: Brooklyn Brewery. Small gig but plenty of kudos to show that size doesn't matter--not comparing Brooklyn to Palestine here!