Please Send 300 Swamp Monsters Doing the Cha-Cha...

After sending hundreds of documents to the New Zealand immigration office, our visas have finally arrived—we’re not getting deported after all! It’s like little elves showed up and brought Christmas early.

The visa process went something like this:

Immigration: Please send an original copy of your marriage license signed in blood, embossed in gold leaf, and hand-delivered by a fairy riding a flying white pony.
Us: Um. Okay....

Immigration: That is the wrong kind of flying white pony.
Us: You didn’t specify.
Immigration: It was implied. Please start over.

Immigration: Please send your firstborn child dressed as a kangaroo, riding a llama, and holding the original Declaration of Independence. 
Us: We don’t have a firstborn child. 
Immigration: Please try harder.

Immigration: Please send three pictures of you holding Oompa-Loompas while riding a Ferris wheel with Bigfoot in Antarctica.
Us: Um. What?
Immigration: Please send them by tomorrow in the early A.M.
Us: We don’t know any Oompa-Loompas.
Immigration: You know Oompa-Loompas.
Us: Um... we're pretty sure we don’t.
Immigration: You don’t understand how this works, do you?

Immigration: Please send...
Us: *BANG HEADS AGAINST WALL*

Needless to say, we are excited that the process is over, and that we're officially considered real people! Now we can, you know, work and get paid and get health insurance—the little things in life.