Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Mooching

In Greece, bus schedules can sometimes be impossible. Usually they don’t go where you want, when you want, and sometimes they’re in Greek so it doesn’t matter anyway. When the bus isn’t happening and you can’t bring yourself to wander for hours along unmarked streets or up rocky cliffs, there’s only one solution: mooch a moto ride. Here’s a step-by-step process of how to get where you want to go, usually for free. 

A Note and a Warning: Although in a politically correct world motorcycle rides would an equal-opportunity pastime, sadly this is not the case. Simply put, ladies are way more successful. And obviously, never get on a motorbike with someone who is sketchy or drunk, and never go to a secluded area. If you feel unsafe, it’s always acceptable to change your mind and say you’d rather get off at a random cafe instead of your destination. 

Step 1: Innocently ask the owner of a shiny new moto how to get to your destination. Locals relaxing on the street corner are usually a good bet. 

Step 2: After the incomprehensible jumble of gestured directions, smile broadly and thank them profusely for helping you. Then look confused and attempt to repeat their directions back. You will probably fail. Everyone will laugh good-naturedly. 

Step 3: Ask “Is it far?” If the answer is “no,” you’re out of luck. If the answer is “yes,” proceed to Step 4. 

Step 4: Look crestfallen.

This is where Greek hospitality sometimes kicks in. If you’re lucky, the person will offer to take you to your destination on their hot wheels, or ask a younger cousin to do it. When accepting this offer, be extremely grateful but act professional in order to avoid giving the wrong impression; you don’t want to be coerced into an awkward, if harmless, coffee date.