All these bones, baby, and you still haven’t noticed mine.
For if you’re ever in need of a pick-up line at the Sedlec Ossuary.
The Bone Church, Kutná Hora’s claim to fame isn’t even actually in Kutná Hora, but that’s the biggest town nearby. About an hour from Prague, Kutná Hora thrives on tourism, which is no surprise considering the main attraction. Decked out in over 40,000 skeletons, the Bone Church is a memento mori of momentous scale. If you’re looking for somewhere to dump your least favorite uncle, look elsewhere; they don’t take donations. These bodies were harvested from the surrounding cemetery centuries ago – in the 13th century, an abbot anointed the ground with water from the Holy Land, and it suddenly became everyone’s favorite place to decompose. People flooded in like a plague, eager to score a sacred spot to rot away in for the rest of eternity. Or until the holes in our ozone layer get the best of this earth. Reduce, reuse, recycle, kids. Interestingly enough, that was the cause of death for many of them – the Plague – and there wasn’t enough space. Too many tibiae, nowhere to put them. #14thcenturyproblems
They expanded the cemetery, and dug up some of the bodies that had already had their turn in the ground. And so came to be the Bone Church.
Multiple pyramids containing skulls and other bones, chalices, a coat of arms, and a signature formed out of bones can be found inside the church. How many bones does the human body have? Yeah, I don’t know either, but at least one of each can be found in a grand chandelier that hangs from the ceiling. Not just for all the potential boner/bone jokes, this site is extremely popular.
If you find yourself in Prague, find yourself here. A bit uncomfortable, yeah, but not more so than your extended family, and you’ve survived plenty of family reunions. It cost someone else an arm and a leg, but it won’t cost you nearly that much, promise.