30 09, 2016
  • hanoi-street-food-tour-1-2

I Killed a Chicken with My Own Two Hands, Pt. 2

The girl led me to a hacked up wooden block lying in the dirt, handed me a dull machete, looked me in the eyes, and made a karate chop gesture towards her throat. I didn’t really need more instruction than that, but I was deeply afraid that I’d butcher the butchering process and only chop half the chicken’s head off on the first go, forcing both the chicken and my conscience to suffer [...]

1 08, 2016
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I Killed a Chicken with My Own Two Hands, Pt. 1

When I was in kindergarten my class put on a weird musical production of the Yellow Submarine in which we all dressed up as sea creatures and permanently destroyed any positive associations our parents may have had with the Beatles. After the show, the rest of the day was dedicated to vaguely ocean-themed activities, one of which (for reasons still unknown to me) involved dissecting a boiled mussel with a [...]

27 07, 2016
  • Ritter Sport

Ritter, Happier, More Productive

Judging from my Twitter feed, most of my friends back home have spent the past month wandering around public parks, dodging real pigeons in search of virtual Pidgeots. Because I've been too cheap to shell out for phone data while in Europe, I've opted for a different (and more delicious) "gotta catch 'em all" mindset: attempting to try each of the 34 flavors of Ritter Sport, Germany's favorite brand of chocolate. [...]

26 07, 2016
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Cow Spleen Just Like Mama Used to Make

“Hmm, a walking tour of Palermo’s street food. That sounds harmless, easy, and delicious,” I thought to myself. Ahh, what a glorious thing, naïveté. I booked the tour. What greeted me in the morning was a balmy 104 degree day, complete with hot wind apparently blowing in from the Savannah desert, or perhaps Satan’s butthole, your guess is as good as mine. After carrying a two-liter water bottle across town, which may as [...]

25 07, 2016
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The Wisdom of the Doner Kebab Goddess

Sevilla is an eating town. Within my first two days, I had eaten in three different ice cream shops (shout out to La Fiorentina for chocolate with chili and blueberry and La Helameda for somehow the best vanilla in existence) and consumed countless pringa sandwiches (what happens when you mash all the porks together, put it in bread and eat it with a hangover). I ate snails for my first time in Spain; [...]

14 07, 2016
  • zeb 2

The Vietnam Catfish (Pt. 2)

Date Two For my second date, she-who-must-not-be-named (we’ll call her Hue) recommended a bar in the old quarter called Polite Pub. The bar was a 1920s speakeasy-type place with black and white photos from prohibition-era America. There was a live band and a pretty funky cocktail menu, so right off the bat I was glad to be there considering most of the other bars I had seen were full of tourists and backpackers [...]

8 07, 2016

Catania Is Actually Really Weird and Here’s Why

The city is known for its traditional Sicilian food, bustling markets, and famous volcano. But it’s also a clusterfuck of weird and mind-blowing stuff. I present to you a small collection of the stranger phenomena I observed in Catania.   Guys think they’re cool for driving Smartcars. Maybe this is just my American ignorance leading me to believe that all men must compensate for their tiny you-know-whats by driving Hummers [...]

30 06, 2016
  • brueghel

The Fight Between Carnival and Lent: Eating Frugally in Vienna’s Naschmarkt

Stretching nearly a mile long, the chaotic assemblage of food stalls and cramped cafés that comprise the centuries-old Naschmarkt in central Vienna can be an olfactory overload for newcomers. The first time I went, the mingling smells of dried fruit and döner kebab made me forget for a second that I wasn’t in Istanbul—until the sight of an enormous Wiener Schnitzel snapped me back to reality. Vendors in the Naschmarkt can sense this [...]

29 06, 2016
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American Inclination, English Party Situation, and Things That Need Explanation

My string of hostel friends has been, to put it one way, unfortunate. I seem to get stuck in rooms with lots of strange people, people that go to bed at eight, and people who seem friendly and then get too friendly and then it gets weird. So when I met someone in my room that seemed relatively normal and didn’t try to hit on me, I was pretty stoked, especially when she [...]

27 06, 2016
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An American, a German, and a Polish Guy Walked into a Fish Market…

Thessaloniki It sounds like the start of one of the mildly racist jokes your grandpa told you about the war, but really it’s just a description of a lovely afternoon in Thessaloniki. Upon finding out that the hostel had one-euro white wine and a barbecue, I realized that I could either take a bath in wine or I could do something more productive and make a delicious meal from local products. So after [...]

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