23 06, 2017
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A Typical Sunday in Berlin for Me, a Guy Who Loves to Club

It's 3pm on a Sunday, and while the rest of Berlin is going to bed after a long, hard day of being a cog in a system, I'm just waking up. Why am I waking up at a time that, to you, is a very unreasonable, but to me, is a normal hour to start the day? I'm glad you asked. Part of the reason is, of course, because I had a massive night out [...]

29 09, 2016
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Belgians vs. Buffon

Disclaimer: if you are Belgian, stop now. I apologize to your people. Watching the Euro Cup in Italy is like watching the Super Bowl in the United States, but with less nachos and more attractive bearded men. Also, most people tune in for the soccer and not for Beyoncé and a touching commercial about large horses. Even for a group stage game between Italy and Belgium in the small town of Syracuse, shit [...]

22 09, 2016
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I ventured into Antwerp’s red-light district. It went okay.

(Author’s note: I felt too awkward to take a photo in the red-light district. Bonus points to someone who grabs a selfie with one of the professionals there. So enjoy the Antwerp sunset!) I went to a Catholic high school. An all-boys one at that. The closest thing to a sex-ed I received was looking at pictures of infected genitalia in health class and listening to my teacher rattle off statistics about just [...]

18 07, 2016
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The Chase (or, I Got Teargassed and Someone Stole my Phone after the Eurocup Final)

I came to Europe looking for some life experiences, or whatever. You know, see the world and all that jazz. Urinate on some historical landmarks, cower my way through a red-light district, ride some bicycles, maybe even look at some art. All standard fare. All Enriching and Educational.   Inevitably, some time abroad becomes a little more layered, and occasionally even exciting than Picasso and pee. For instance: a not-insignificant amount [...]

18 07, 2016
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Miscommunications and Orgy Invitations

As a town whose nightlife peaked during the reign of the Catholic monarchs (as we all learned, in 1492 Columbus threw a rager on the ocean blue), Toledo gets a bad rep. Misión Imposible: find out where people go here to get multi-culturally and historically lit. Prospects started looking up when some native Toledans offered to take me to “la Peraleda.” When I don’t know Spanish words, I tend to nod and smile [...]

7 07, 2016
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To My Crazy Bunkmate, An Open Letter

To the sleeping woman sharing this bunk bed with me, I thought we could have been friends. I really did. When you came into the room after midnight and harrumphed your bag down on the bunk above mine, your warmth and grace had me all but ready to introduce myself. You only continued to charm when, having watched me— clad in but my boxers, flip-flops, and a towel—leave the bathroom to grab my [...]

1 07, 2016
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Cryin’, Sneezing’, and Snottin’

York is an old, old town, full of history and ancient buildings. I’m also pretty confident that York is home to a lot of old, old dust, which for me translates into watery eyes and sneezing that just won’t quit. There’s nothing quite like having snot dripping down your face when you’re trying to buy a ticket to a museum, or having eyes so red and watery people look at you like you’ve [...]

29 06, 2016
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French Rejection Hurts the Same

WHOMP WHOMP whump WHOMP WHOMP. A muted but still thumpin’ bass line leaks through the concrete walls of the building ahead. I squint and consult my map. “That’s gotta be it,” I say, pointing. My companion smirk-smiles. “I dunno,” he says. WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP. “I think that might be the library.” I straighten my shoulders and hide my giant glasses in the pocket of my giant army jacket. WHOMP WHOMP. “No, this is [...]

29 06, 2016
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American Inclination, English Party Situation, and Things That Need Explanation

My string of hostel friends has been, to put it one way, unfortunate. I seem to get stuck in rooms with lots of strange people, people that go to bed at eight, and people who seem friendly and then get too friendly and then it gets weird. So when I met someone in my room that seemed relatively normal and didn’t try to hit on me, I was pretty stoked, especially when she [...]

23 06, 2016
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Muy Muy Hip with the Kids

So even crazier than the extreme heat of a totally abandoned mid-siesta Madrid, is the sudden 20 degree (centigrade, suh European) drop that necessitates evasive sweater action.  Luckily, with a handy little brother in town, all I had to do was throw on his oversized sweater and I was ready to get into all those clubs that seek semi-homeless looking tangle-haired American travel writers.  It’s a thing (I hope).   [...]

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