In honor of Torino’s ultimate achievement as the home of the Nutella factory, I have let my poetic muse loose in a number of forms to imagine what some of the world’s most famous poets would have written had, instead of being preoccupied with fair ladies, chilled plums, and frogs, they been student backpackers discovering this incredibly delicious chocolate hazelnut spread.
Free Verse (William Carlos Williams)
This is just to say
I have eaten
that was in
you were probably
for your complimentary hostel breakfast
it was delicious
and so spreadable
Crispy piece of toast.
I spread Nutella on it:
What is the sound of one person eating Nutella?*
Sonnet (Willy Shakes)
Shall I compare thee to a jar of Nutella?
It is far more lovely and more delicious.
Rough hunger pangs do shake my belly today
and the price of a full meal on the road is vicious.
Sometimes too hot the sun in Italy shines
and oftentimes I'm really freaking hungry
and every day the sweat from brow declines,
but unfortunately I don't have that much money.
But Nutella's eternal sweetness shall not fade
even when it's spread onto a cracker.
I like to eat it sitting in the shade
though anywhere's pretty decent if there's a chair.
So long as you have that convenient unscrewable top
I shall be eating thee, Nutella, nonstop.
And finally, in honor of the fair nation of Italy,
Terza Rima (Dante)
Midway through the journey of our Eurotrip
We came upon a chocolate spread dark
for our low-calorie diet plan had been lost.
(Academy of American poets, Library of Congress, Pulitzer Committe—you can thank me later.)
*Interestingly enough, they've solved this one. The answer seems to be (in typically spare zen fasion), "Mmm."