You wake up at 3:35am on March 16th to take a taxi to the bus station that will take you to the airport to catch your flight to Dublin because this was the cheapest option, and you’re a poor college student. Youl meet some fellow Americans on the bus who will excitedly yell “NORTH CAROLINAAAA” Petey-Pablo style when you tell them where you’re from and say “you probably get that reaction all the time” (you don’t).
By the time you’re at the airport you’re in desperate need of coffee. You make it through security and start walking toward the place everyone else is buying drinks before you realize that it’s a pub and everyone is drinking beer. It’s 6:00am. You finally locate the tiny, neglected coffee stand.
Don’t worry about planning out what you’ll do in Dublin beforehand; when you get on a bus to the city centre you can just ask the person next to you where you should get off. Luckily she is sympathetic about the fact that you forgot to look up maps or do any research and actually tells you the right place. Congratulations, you’ve made it to O’Connell Street!
You have a broken umbrella, a full backpack, and no idea where you’re going. Your friends are meeting you later that day and you can’t check into the hostel until then. The tourist information center is closed (it’s still only 8:00am), but don’t panic! Duck into a fancy looking hotel, pretend you belong, and get the bellhop to give you a map and directions.
Explore Dublin! It’s raining hard, and your umbrella is pretty much useless, but you keep using it because it makes you feel a little bit better. There’s an amazing amount to see along the Ha’Penny Bridge, the Garden of Remembrance is gorgeous, and the castle dates back to 1204. St. Stephen’s Green has incredible flowers, and the James Joyce Centre is great even if you’ve never read anything by him.
On Saint Patrick’s Day you can sneak in a bit of sightseeing early, but, whatever you do, don’t miss the parade. It’s nothing like you expect; there are no leprechauns or pots of gold, but there are trippy steampunk creatures in bright colors.
After the parade, everyone drinks outside despite its illegality. The police don’t really care, but they casually confiscate beer just to appear to be doing something. It’s cold outside, and you’re obviously too classy for drinking on the street. Find a cafe, order the cheapest thing, and pour beer from your purse into water cups.
Party the night away, then crash in a friend’s hotel room for the early hours because you were too cheap to book a hostel for the last night. Squeeze in a wee bit more exploring in the morning, banter with some museum staff, and then sleep for the next three days.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day!