As you find yourself feeling a bit famished in the Navigli section of Milan, you may also find yourself questioning your decision to come to Milan when you in fact only have 50 more euro to your name.
But now, I’m going to reveal to you the best kept secret. Armani? Overrated. Prada? Whatever. Il Maggiolino? Every man’s (or if you’re like me and can eat like a man) dream.
First you’ll be escorted in to see a gaudy array of décor that puts even your grandmother’s basement to shame. The definition of random can only be surpassed by the definition of inappropriate.
You’ll see your fair share of rowdy bachelorette parties and food fights as most Italians trek to this restaurant to celebrate by indescribable means. Plates and shot glasses are thrust upon you (all in the shapes of quite phallic images), and you’ll be lucky if you hear English spoken anywhere. Lingerie fills the walls and the TVs show a constant reel of happy customers taking body shots.
But then, there’s the food. Feel free to order the common dish La Tipo di Cinque Carni or a platter filled with five different kinds of meat and French fries. The platters are humungous and must be split between two people, costing about 10-14 euro per person. Perhaps you’ll choose to come with a group of friends and get more than just platters. Il Maggiolino serves gumball machines full of beer for 26 euro! Kegs? Italian Style? Si, Grazie.
End your night with a three euro chocolate, and the knowledge that even King Arthur didn’t eat a feast like you.
Il Maggiolino
Viale Liguria, 47, 20134 Milano
Take the Metro (Green line 2) to the Romolo stop. Take Via Liturgia straight past one set of traffic lights. Il Maggiolino will be on your left.