Orientation
MONACO-VILLE
Monaco Ville sits atop the rocher de Monaco, which François Grimaldi climbed and conquered while dressed as a monk (or monaco, in Italian) in 1297. Today, it overlooks the Port of Hercules, and houses the Royal Palace and everything else royal within the city limits. The principality’s royal aquarium, palace, car collection, and church are all located atop this neighborhood, which is barely larger than 5x9 blocks. There’s a reason that this area of Monaco is most densely packed with tourists. Take some pics, see the sights, then hurry back down the mountain before you feel the need to push past that old lady with a walker who’s keeping that extremely slow cruise ship group from moving on.
MONTE CARLO
Okay, we’ve all heard of this place. Centered around the Carre d’Or and the Monte Carlo casino, Monte Carlo boasts the fanciest cars, fastest women, and most opulent clubs in Monaco. It might cost you a fortune just to step foot in this part of town, but if you don’t mind being Monte Carlo’s token plebeian you should put on your best and go people watch. Who knows—you might even find a rich sugar daddy. Keep going past the casino and you’ll reach the only beach in the principality, as well as the Forum and Sporting Complex.
LA CONDAMINE
This neighborhood boasts the cheapest shops, bars, and general cost of living in Monaco. It’s also refreshingly clear of tourists during the day, who are off on excursions to the rocher; at night, it hosts a series of laid-back bars that are seriously lacking in the other parts of Monaco. Located below Monaco-Ville, La Condamine is also where the port’s affordable hotels are, but keepin mind that “affordable” in Monaco requires a slight price adjustment, even from the already expensive Riviera.
FONTVIEILLE
This neighborhood is the quiet western side of Monaco. Home to private apartments and yacht clubs, the parties here happen behind closed doors, and there isn’t much left for the common folk, unless you’re looking for a job in the industrial sector. The area is also home to a large shopping complex and Monaco’s soccer stadium, in case you were planning to see the home team.