Only 24 hours in Amsterdam?! That's definitely not enough time to start appreciating and loving Dutch culture (or to figure out how to pronounce all those extra vowels). On the bright side, Amsterdam is small and easy to get around, making it relatively easy to catch a great hits in a single day. Here's your guide:
9 AM: Centraal Station overwhelms you. Be a tourist, take pictures. Note that there are hostels and then there are party hostels: drop your pack at one of the latter in the Nieuwe Zijd, just a short walk away. Hopefully you landed a bed at Bob’s Youth Hostel or the Flying Pig. Make friends now so you can milk them later.
10am: Not eating breakfast is not Dutch. Grab a traditional Dutch breakfast. (Note: this is the only occasion in Dutch dining when “traditional” also means “delicious.” Try oilbollen (fried dough balls with raisins) or toast with chocolate sprinkle things, called hagelslag. Seek out bakery window-fronts with the most drool-worthy pastries. Not enough euro? Not a problem. You can find an Albert Heijn (the local grocery chain) every few blocks with the same stroopwafels at lower prices.
10:30am: Rent a bike! Ask the guy at the store what the different gears are for. Learn now or learn the hard way.
11am: Museum time! Head to Museumplein to hit up perennial favorites like the Rijksmuseum and Van Gogh museum. Take notes so you can convince your friends later that you didn’t just come here to do drugs. Check out The Potato Eaters and De Melkmeid, but you have a lot to do today, so it's best to take them at a run. Just kidding—running is probably frowned upon. Walk briskly.
1pm: Take a short walk (or bike!) through Vondelpark, the prettiest park in the city—best seen at daylight to avoid accidently stumbling into teenagers having sex (awww).
2pm: Munchies strike. Hit up the cheap, delicious restaurants of De Pijp. Bonus: if you get an outdoor seat, you can play spot-the-hipster while you eat!
3pm: No visit to Amsterdam even counts as a visit to Amsterdam if you don’t see Electric Ladyland. If you manage to beat the new laws, visit a coffeeshop first. Even if not, Electric Ladyland will expand your consciousness, and afterward, you’ll find yourself in the Jordaan area, with a heightened sense of everything psychedelic. Take the edge off by unwinding in one of the Jordaan’s ultra-classy bruin cafes, perfect for a nice coffee or afternoon beer. Then, take a tour of Westerkerk, nearby in Westermarkt, to get a bird’s-eye-view of your new favorite city.
4:20pm: Drug tourists, pay a visit to a smartshop. Shopaholics, try an outdoor market like the one in Waterlooplein or the half-mile long cheap-shit-parade that is Albert Cuypmarkt. History geeks, this is your time to check out some of the smaller museums, in which enthusiastic curators will often give you personalized tours.
6pm: Eat a huge dinner. When 1 AM rolls around, and Albert Heijn has closed for the night, FEBO will be there. You’ll be tempted by FEBO. You’ll think, It’s not like I’m going to Burger King…it’s Dutch… and convince yourself that you’ll feel less ashamed since you can just use those vending-machine style automatic dispensers without ever looking anyone in the eye. But you don’t want to go to FEBO. Fill up now at one of the great ethnic eateries in the Central Canal Ring or the Canal Ring West.
7pm: Avoid the crowds at the Anne Frank House and pay a late-evening visit (in the summers they're open until 9 or 10pm).
8pm: Siesta! But really. A majority of restaurants in Amsterdam close early, and the party doesn’t start until late. Plus, after the Anne Frank museum you’ll want to reflect, not wander the seedy Red Light District. Nap to reset your mind and recharge your body so that you can see all the city has to offer by night.
9:45pm: This is when those hostel buddies you made earlier come in handy. Wake up, groggily ask them their plans. A bro from Wisconsin named “Andy” offers: “I don’t know, man, probably just gonna chill, check out a few bars.” This is fine for now. Take Andy & co. on a late-evening stroll through the Red Light District. Hit up bars that seem fun, and meet other backpackers.
11pm: Your new European friends have replaced Andy (whew). Take them to Rembrandtplein to see the biggest clubs in the city. Gawk accordingly.
11:30pm: Go to FEBO. Shame on you.
Midnight: Abandon these friends, too. Go make even better friends with cool Dutch kids at Studio 80, Paradiso, or OT 301. Dance.
3am: Come to Leidseplein, where tourists and locals mix in beer-fueled madness. Leave at sunrise. Not before.
6am: Say “Tot ziens!” to your heartbreakingly hip Dutch friends, and bike home through the morning fog. Catch the train to the next city, curse yourself for not moving here for good. Assuming you've managed to avoid too much short-term memory loss, think back on the day. Yeah, Europe is pretty awesome sometimes.