You love Chicken Kiev. When it is on the menu, you not only eat it: you circle it, you star it, you plant lingering-lipstick kisses across its laminated print because you would marry this Kiev if only it were a person. As a back-up plan for your failed romance, you could instead visit the city it’s named for: Kiev, the 1,300-year-old capital of the second largest country in Europe and home to the most visited McDonald’s on the planet. Even if you go to Ukraine for Kiev (or its chicken), you will likely soon be distracted the countryside, full of majestic mountains, cloud-scraping castles, and extensive rivers and creeks. Yalta, jewel of the Crimean Peninsula, and Odessa, pearl of the Black Sea, are only a couple of the many gems home to traditional music, dancing, and pint upon pint of kvas, a liquor brewed from rye bread best washed down with a few glasses of Nemiroff, the country’s most popular vodka. Looking to soak up all that alcohol afterwards? There will be meat, potatoes and salo (a salted lard dish) aplenty at the table of any reasonable host. The meals all come at a steep price, though: be prepared to finish them. Failing to do so would be a major insult to those with whom you dine and, more importantly, to your stomach. As English is not too common, try to pick up a bit of Russian or Ukrainian or, failing that, at least get a pocket guide and start drilling everything from "Where’s the restroom?" to "One more plate of food and I will die. Here on your floor. And you will have to dispose of my body. Which is a lot of work." Or something along those lines.