According to a recently proposed Congressional bill, pizza is a vegetable. And with all the pizza joints in Cambridge, it must be one of America’s healthiest cities. So go out and enjoy all the wholesome, natural goodness Cambridge has to offer, trusting that if Congress says pizza is healthy, it must be true.
Veggie Planet
Best enjoyed from 11am-2pm.
A vegetarian haven in Harvard Sqaure, Veggie Planet isn’t exactly what most would consider to be a pizza joint. But considering how dumb most people are, we don’t really care. Every single item on Veggie Planet’s menu can be ordered as a pizza. Coconut rice and curry? PIZZA. Udon noodle salad? PIZZA. Caesar salad? PIZZA (maybe that whole thing about Congress and pizza being a vegetable is more accurate than we thought…). For a step outside the ordinary that nevertheless tastes extraordinary, try Veggie Planet.
Oggi Gourmet Foods
Best enjoyed from 3-5pm.
Smack dab in the center of the modern, soulless Holyoke Center, Oggi lacks the charm of some of Cambridge’s other pizza parlors. In fact, it is frequented by students stress eating after they confirm they’ve gained the Freshman 15 at the adjacent University Health Services. Though what Oggi lacks in ambience, it makes up for in quality. Don’t come to Oggi expecting to be blown away by a wacky flavor combination. Instead, you’ll be blown away by the flawless execution of traditional thin-crust pizza, with meticulously ideal ratios of sauce to cheese to crust.
Emma’s Pizza
Best enjoyed from 6-9pm.
Unlike some of the other drunken, hot mess establishments you’ll find on this list of pizza joints, Emma’s is a class act. Located in Kendall Square next to a theater so fancy they call it a “cinema,” Emma’s delicious pizza is accompanied by a dim candlelit glow, rather than the stench of alcohol-breath swirling about. Choose from an endless selection of sauces, toppings, and cheeses, or sample one of Emma’s own concoctions, all on Emma’s renowned thin crust.
Otto Pizza
Best enjoyed from 9pm-midnight.
Located conveniently next to CVS and Bank of America, Otto is the place students go when they get hungry before a pregame. Picture this: you’re a Harvard student on your way back from getting some cash to pay your friend for…um…supplies, you’ve stopped in at CVS to purchase some…accompaniments…for said supplies, and on your way back, the smell of freshly baking pizza ovens wafts into your nostrils. You have no choice but to go. Otto’s slices are thin and wide; two should feed even the hungriest college student. From cranberries to white beans to pulled pork, Otto’s toppings signal no intention of offering pizza that is by any means traditional.
Pinocchio’s Pizza and Subs
Best enjoyed from midnight-2:30am.
Enter this establishment—better known as Noch’s—at a normal dinner time, say between 6:30pm and 7:30pm, and Noch’s will be devoid of life. Enter at 2:00am after Friday night out, and you’ll find a line of wasted students flowing out the door. And if undergrads are willing to wait outside in the frozen tundra of Massachusetts, hammered out of their minds, you know the pizza must be some quality stuff. It is widely known that no one has ever ordered a sub from Noch’s. Just like joining the mathletes, ordering a sub is social suicide. Instead, order what everyone else does: a slice of the Sicilian pizza that Noch’s is known for. More like a slab than a slice, it’s the thickest pizza you’ll find in Harvard Square.