If you're going to San Francisco...be sure to wear some flowers in your hair.
San Francisco—the City by the Bay. Contrary to what the sweatshirts would have you believe, there’s a lot more here than cable cars and the Golden Gate Bridge. (Protip: Unless you want to be walking around in one of those sweatshirts, pack lots of layers for those chilly evenings on the wharf.)
Day 1: Shopping, Chowder, and Things that Go Bump in the Night
- Union Square: This huge cement plaza is a bustle of activity and the shopping hub of the city. Window shop in big department stores like Macy’s and Neiman Marcus, or poke into the chic boutiques (you may not buy anything, but it’s certainly fun to look.) In the winter, trade your shoes for ice skates and show off your triple axel in the outdoor rink—or just shuffle along the rail and try not to fall on your face.
- Cable Car—Powell/Hyde Line: Ah, the quintessential San Fran experience. Overpriced tourist trap? Probably. But there’s something thrilling about standing on the boards outside the car, hanging on for dear life as you rattle up and down San Francisco’s roller coaster hills.
- Nob Hill: Hop off the cable car in San Francisco’s upscale Nob Hill neighborhood to catch your breath and admire the stunning Gothic architecture of Grace Cathedral.
- Lombard Street: Pass the “the crookedest street in the world.” Crazy Lombard St. zigs and zags its way downhill around plots of flowers, proving a spectacle for the (even crazier) tourists. There isn’t much to do here but take photos of cars slowly struggling down the road, so it’s probably not getting worth getting off the cable car here.
- Fisherman’s Wharf and Pier 39: Admittedly, it’s tacky (hello, Ripley's Believe It or Not). This place abounds with tourists and tourist paraphernalia, but it’s a fun place to spend an afternoon. Ghirardelli Square (because the chocolate comes in squares...) is a haven for chocolate lovers and a great place to stop for a decadent banana split. Don’t miss the Musée Méchanique, which houses hundreds of vintage arcade games. It doesn’t cost anything to go in, but you’ll want to change some money into quarters to get your fortune told, set the marionettes a-dancing, and wrestle the metal arm like the Hulk that you are. At Pier 39, head to the Boudin Café at the bread company’s flagship location for a clam chowder in a fresh sourdough bread bowl.
- Alcatraz Night Tour: After watching the sun set on the Bay, take a 20min. ferry to the infamous island of Alcatraz, a former maximum-security prison. The audio guide, which uses recordings from actual Alcatraz guards and prisoners, makes it particularly creepy to walk the cell house floor by moonlight.
Day 2: Biking the Bridge
Head to Fisherman’s Wharf in the morning to rent a bike from one of the many companies that camp out there. Blazing Saddles is the largest, but any of them should be able to outfit you with bike, helmet, lock, and map. Once you’re saddled up, set off for the golden arches! (Not a cheeseburger, you glutton—the Golden Gate Bridge.)
- Golden Gate Bridge: If you’re looking for it (and somehow missed every single Golden Gate Bridge snow globe, sweatshirt, and key chain), the bridge is actually red, not gold. It’s also quite large, stretching 4200ft. across the San Francisco Bay to Marin County. As you bike across, marvel at the enormous cables and bolts that hold this baby together. Don't forget a sweater and a windbreaker—it can get chilly up there.
- Sausalito: Take a moment to appreciate the bridge and the San Francisco skyline from Vista Point on the other side, and check out the displays with bridge statistics. It’s so big, nearly any height, weight, or diameter is impressive. Then check your map and bike into downtown Sausalito—a pretty little town of shops, cafes, and flower pots. If all of that exercise has made you hungry, check out Le Garage Bistro, a hip French restaurant set in a corrugated steel warehouse on the marina. (Be prepared to take a leisurely lunch: this is a French restaurant run by Frenchmen, and you’ll be met with disdain if you ask for your check too early.) After poking around the (mostly expensive) shops, take the Blue and Golde Ferry back to Fisherman’s Wharf to return your bike.
Day 3: Golden Gate Park
- San Francisco Botanical Garden: Begin your day like a Californian by getting back to nature. San Francisco’s expansive botanical garden is organized by region of the world, so you can easily visit Australia, Southeast Asia, the Caribbean, and South Africa in a mere 45min. You can use all those photos of cacti, magnolias, and hairy red vines later to impress the hostel guys with how well-traveled you are. Don’t miss the California redwood forest and watch out for dinosaurs as you traverse the jungley Ancient Garden.
- de Young Museum: Rebuilt after the 1989 earthquake, the futuristic de Young Museum looks like an industrial warehouse topped with an enormous wedge of copper Swiss cheese. Oh, and there’s a 21ft-tall blue safety pin in the sculpture garden out back. If that doesn’t get you excited, the museum‘s superb collection will, showcasing everything from fine Turkmen carpets to wacky giant glass fruit. It boasts a particularly strong collection of pre-20th century American art, including masterworks by John Copley, William Harnett, George Caleb Bingham, John Marin, and others. Stop by the de Young Café afterwards to contemplate that giant safety pin over a sandwich.
- Japanese Tea Garden: When you’re ready for some fresh air, head next door to the Japanese Tea Garden, a wonderland of bamboo, bonsai trees, and carved bridges over water flickering with orange koi fish. It’s the most popular garden in the park, so you may want to brush up on your Photoshop skills if you don’t want someone else’s orange poncho flapping into your photo. Tourists aside, this is still a great place to drink jasmine tea and find your inner zen.
- California Academy of Sciences: Devote the rest of the afternoon to science—you’ll want to after paying the entrance fee (a whopping $25 for students). Still, this place is undeniably cool: you can check out colorful birds and frogs in a four-story living rainforest, tunnel underwater to see Amazonian fish swimming above you, and tour the solar system (you’ve already been everywhere else today) in the world’s largest digital planetarium.
Day 4: A Day of Art (and Food)
- Asian Art Museum: Housed in an impressive, columned Beaux Arts building, the Asian Art Museum boasts one of the best collections of Asian art anywhere. Admire Japanese samurai armor, graceful Chinese calligraphy, ancient Persian artifacts, and jade that seems to glow under the museum’s carefully-lit displays. Don’t leave without getting acquainted with the oldest dated Buddha in the world.
- San Francisco Museum of Modern Art: Have a delicious (and sustainable) lunch in the museum’s Caffé Museo as you plan your art-viewing route with a museum map. Don’t forget to visit the rooftop sculpture garden, which features a changing exhibition of art too large to put anywhere else. Then go lose yourself in the rich color of a Rothko or the surrealist clouds of Magritte. Gorky, Braque, Kahlo, Klee, Warhol—this place has it all. And lest you commit a major faux pas, that urinal sitting on a pedestal on the second floor is, in fact, art.
- Ferry Building: Head to the Ferry Building, an airy, newly-renovated marketplace filled with gourmet specialty shops and restaurants, for an early dinner (things start to close down at 6pm). You don‘t need to sit down, though: this is a place to wander and snack on cheeses, raw oysters, hot sausages, and fresh French bread.
Day 5: Chinatown, North Beach, and Some Interesting Hats
- Chinatown: Walk down Grant Ave. and take in the pagoda titled roofs, colorful shop displays of parasols and Buddha statues, and enticing aroma of freshly-baked fortune cookies. Go to Yank Sing for dim sum or just follow your nose to the nearest Chinese bakery for a hot breakfast bun.
- Coit Tower: Climb the lovely-but-somewhat-strenuous path up Telegraph Hill to Coit Tower, famous for both its views and the murals inside. Commissioned under the Depression-era Public Works Art Project, the Life in California and 1934 murals are the collaborative effort of 25 artists, including Diego Rivera, and depict Californian agriculture and industry. After giving the walls their due admiration, take the elevator to the top for a sweeping view of the city.
- North Beach: San Francisco’s “Little Italy” is a romantic world of red checked tablecloths and cases of chocolate-dipped cannoli. For you beatniks and bookworms out there, it’s also the home of City Lights Bookstore, which published Allen Ginsberg’s “Howl” and became famous following the poem’s obscenity trial. The still-thriving independent bookstore invites you to linger a while and browse its wide (and sometimes esoteric) selection of poetry, graphic novels, rare books, cookbooks, science fiction, political theory, anthropology, and just about everything else. Reading material selected, it’s time for a well-deserved stracciatella cone at Gelateria Naia.
- Beach Blanket Babylon: For your final night in San Francisco, treat yourself to a performance of this utterly ridiculous musical revue. Snow White (with all her high-pitched, sugary charm,) encounters cartoon-haired politicians and celebrities on her way to find Prince Charming. Oh, and there are hats. The hats are sometimes larger than the people under them, bearing pineapples, trash cans, and miniature Golden Gate Bridges. Only in San Francisco…
Suggested Lodgings: San Francisco International Hostel is a block away from Union Square and has free breakfast and laundry facilities. Pacific Tradewinds Backpacker Hostel is a bit smaller and prides itself on generating a sense of community among its guests, leading sing-alongs and group pub-crawl outings. Throw in a well-equipped kitchen and free internet, and this one’s a good bet.