Dumb Scenario 1: You are last in line to get on the bus and scan your CharlieCard, but you're tired or feeling especially limp and don't brace yourself for the bus to recommence motion. Potential Injurious Consequences: You tumble into the burly man in front of you and somehow feel ashamed for the rest of your bus ride while he gives you dirty looks; you tumble into the nanny and knock groceries out of her hands and feel like a prick; you tumble into the empty bus and hit your head on a pole or bruise your shins on a seat.

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5. Show them your Sox tattoo.

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5. Tell them their Sox tattoos are stupid.

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It's seven degrees Fahrenheit, and you've been waiting for the bus for 15 minutes. You're wearing two pairs of socks in your winter boots, Spanx under your jeans, a tank top under your undershirt under your flannel shirt under your fleece under your other fleece, a scarf wrapped around your neck twice, and a hat covered by the hood from that first fleece. But somehow, you're still cold. There's no Dunkin' Donuts nearby to get a hot chocolate, and the miniscule warmth of the sun is beginning to fade.

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On one of my adventures gallivanting about the diverse neighborhoods of Boston, I stopped at a CD/DVD/record buy/sell/trade store in Kenmore called Nuggets. Upon seeing so many cheap DVDs I suddenly felt guilty about my...ahem...friends' tendencies to pirate movies from the Internet, so I decided to repent for their sins by buying a few used DVDs. Being the great Boston-area college student that I am, I decided to go with one undoubted classic of my generation (Anchorman), one Boston classic (The Departed), and a random third just for giggles (The Men Who Stare at Goats).

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