Large and in Charge: Big Things Down Under

 Though officially Earth’s smallest continent, Australia is no stranger to giants. The largest island in the world has cattle ranches that outsize Belgium and a reef that's bigger than Italy. However, nation-sized natural wonders apparently weren’t enough for Australians, so they decided to build their own “Big Things.”  

These giant hunks of kitsch can take any shape: prawns, crocs, bananas, and wine bottles are just a few of the over 100 massive structures scattered throughout Australia. Sometimes fiberglass, sometimes cement, but always obnoxious, the Big Things spring up in highway truck-stop towns looking for a little publicity. The first of these oversized icons was the Big Banana in Coffs Harbour, New South Wales. During the 1960s, John Landy was sick of watching cars whiz by his roadside banana stand. While other men might have opted for a brightly colored sign, John decided to construct something that would make those drivers slam on their brakes and take a gander. His 1500-pound fruit was completed in 1964, and it is now surrounded by tobogganing, ice skating, and waterslides.

Prodigious produce came to the rescue once again a few years later in Queensland. Bill Taylor and his wife built a 52ft. pineapple on their farm near Nambour, and the attraction was soon bolstered by a small train and animal farm. However, the Big Pineapple was nearly sold to liquidators in 2005, and its financial future looks rather grim. However, money aside, it was still iconic enough to earn a spot in the Australian Post’s “Big Things” stamp series.

The Big Merino in Goulburn, New South Wales, is a classic example of Big Thing marketing. Opened in 1985, the giant cement sheep that locals call “Rambo” lost 40 busloads of visitors a day when the Hume Highway bypassed Goulburn in 1992. Not to be outwitted by the public works, his owners simply moved him to a service station off the freeway, and now Rambo enjoys all the attention he deserves.

Tamworth, also in New South Wales, strung up the 40ft. Golden Guitar as a shout-out to its beloved Australian country music. This musical monolith was unveiled by country legend Slim Dusty himself, and it now glitters over the annual Tamworth Country Music Festival. Like the miniatures presented to winners of Australian Country Music Awards, the Golden Guitar is stringless.

The Big Lobster in Kingston, South Australia, is called “Larry” by his smaller neighbors. This leggy creature was intended as a rooftop decoration for Kath and Eric Pletz’s Big Lobster restaurant, but someone didn’t read the instructions closely. Instead of standing at his intended 17ft., Larry now looms at 17 meters (55ft.). Rather than freaking out about this four-ton mistake, the Pletzes seized this tourism opportunity.

Native wildlife is by far the most popular Big Thing candidate, with everything from galahs to mosquitoes working their way into kitsch history. Inanimate objects are fair game, too: golden gumboots, rocking horses, purses, and golf balls are all waiting at the roadside. Even Australia’s toughest cookies aren’t safe from this craze – outlaw Ned Kelly and explorer Captain Cook have both been immortalized in fiberglass.

Understandably, some residents complain that these gargantuan “sights” are just tacky eyesores, and they’d prefer to wake up without the Big Menino’s backside in their window. But for many Australians, the Big Things are an essential fixture of the family road trip; they wouldn’t trade those obligatory, awkward photo ops for all the booze in Buronga’s Big Wine Cask. (And that’s 400,000 liters!) For the tourist, Big Things can provide silly, outrageous breaks from the long, lonely Australian highways.