Two months on a budget does things to the brain. My boss already says I "do things for Wi-Fi," so I guess there's really no sense trying to hide the evolution of my shady penny-pinching ways from the world. For your entertainment or actual use, here's how I survived to write you this blog, and how you can save cash at the expense of your health and/or dignity:

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Thanks to at least 22 pizza guys and a small miracle, I finally made it to my first hostel in Venice, ravenous at around 11pm. My plans consisted of food, laundry and sleep. Unfortunately these plans did not coincide with the hostel's plans for me.

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Woe is you—you've accidentally befriended (or worse, started dating) an artsy type. Now not only are they making you question what you always considered your impeccable style of dress, but they want you to come to all these museums with them. As they gush and stare riveted at the walls, you're checking your watch for the 56th time. It's been about 20min. since you came in, and you're already reaching your threshold for pretending-to-look-smart-and-interested.

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Some people adopt children. Many adopt pets. Most adopt a positive attitude, at least once in a while. But it takes a special kind of person to adopt a researcher-writer.

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As you may have seen on that old show Kids Say the Darndest Things (is that an embarrassing reference?), kids really do come out with some lines that I might qualify as darndest if I knew what darndest actually means. Here are some of Italy's most famous sights from the perspective of kids who haven't been conditioned to ooh and ahh just because some famous dead people pushed some stones around: 

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