A Delightful, Relaxing, Totally Conflict-Free Moroccan Bus Ride

Just kidding.

10:30am – Unclear if I’m on the right bus. Everyone else seems to have tickets with seat numbers on them, while mine has what I think is the Arabic symbol for “bad handwriting scribble.”

10:57 – It seems I am not on the right bus. We are going in the opposite direction of the place I’m trying to get to. Or at least, that’s what Google Maps says. But when has Google ever been all-knowing?

11:09 – Nope, it’s the right bus. Passed a sign for Chefchaouen. Listening to Spotify’s Hot Country playlist as a reward.

11:14 – The people on my bus are all observing National Don’t Wear Deodorant Day. Some are also observing National Take Your Shoes Off in Close Proximity to Others Day. Glad to see so many religions coexisting peacefully.

11:50 – There are many winding mountain roads with steep cliff drops in Morocco. My driver finds it exciting to pass other cars on all of them. He is apparently a fan of the Fast and Furious movies. Hope he’s also a fan of the soon to be made documentary: Moroccan Bus Driver Drives Off Cliff, Killing Mike and Others. Long title, but you know how Hollywood is these days.

12:06 – There is a wasp on the bus. Tell my parents I love them.

12:29 – Guy behind me saying “hi” by draping his arm over the seat onto mine. This is where I wish they let chainsaws through TSA. I’ll settle for passive aggressively turning around and looking at him occasionally.

12:51 – Wasp has set up camp several rows in front of me. The folks there seem unperturbed. Moroccans are a strong people.

1:32 – The bus is slowed down behind a truck full of gas canisters. This is the kind of truck that only exists to jazz up chase sequences in movies. Let’s do this shit.

1:40-2:24 – I doze. My dreams are haunted by a wasp with B.O.

2:40 – There is a fight over the window curtains. People are hot. Ramadan is not good for the general mood. Can’t blame them. (Note: this curtain was previously the one shielding the bus from the wasp most feared. It is agitated. People still unperturbed by the wasp, but very perturbed by who gets the curtain.)

3:11 – AAAAH! On my leg! Is it the dreaded wasp? No, just a simple fly. Pay no attention, Moroccan Abraham Lincoln sitting next to me. I’m good.