Catania Is Actually Really Weird and Here’s Why

The city is known for its traditional Sicilian food, bustling markets, and famous volcano. But it’s also a clusterfuck of weird and mind-blowing stuff. I present to you a small collection of the stranger phenomena I observed in Catania.

  1. Guys think they’re cool for driving Smartcars. Maybe this is just my American ignorance leading me to believe that all men must compensate for their tiny you-know-whats by driving Hummers with the license plate GUNLUVR, but it seems to me that a Smartcar is not exactly the right venue for playing loud rap music and picking up chicks. Catanese men would beg to differ.
  2. Giant chunks of meat are everywhere. You’ll glance through a door on the outskirts of town and see an entire cow haunch with a machete sticking out of it just sitting unsupervised on a table with half of a marlin next to it. Is someone going to refrigerate this? Is some sort of Sicilian Thanksgiving feast about to happen? Did I just miss a ritual sacrifice? Nothing is apparent.
  3. The Mona Lisa is male here. This is according to a painting I saw in the Museum of the City at Ursino Castle, in which Mona Lisa stands, genitalia exposed, on a brothel’s card table, surrounded by pigs and birds dressed in maid outfits. Ahh, modern art.
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Emily Corrigan

Emily prepared for her travels in France, Belgium, and the Netherlands this summer in a Rocky-esque training montage: speed-eating croissants, running up hills wearing comfortable walking sandals, and bench pressing her 30-liter Osprey travel backpack. However, she realized the intense training may be getting to her when she drop-kicked a box of macarons off the Eiffel Tower, injuring three. For the rest of the summer, she recovered by playing chess with nice Flemish people. She ate frites. She took a silly yet endearing picture intentionally missing the point of the Louvre pyramid with her finger. She is now fully rehabilitated.